~ christopher funderburg ~

The wealthy party-goers can't get out of the living room and it's not just because there's a bear downstairs. The Exterminating Angel.

The master of the house has Jeanne Moreau (the chambermaid) try on some boots. Diary of a Chambermaid.

Investigating a murder or giving into sexual arousal? The maid confronts the killer in Diary of Chambermaid.

"This man is an idiot." The sensitive and thoughtful commentary of Las Hurdes.

The goat "falls" off of a mountain cliff. Las Hurdes.

Dinner is once again interrupted: this time, our diners are on stage and no one can remember their lines. The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie.

The little girl attempts to help a midget get into his train seat. That Obscure Object of Desire.

Fernando Rey pours a bucket of water on Carole Bouquet's head as she tries to get on the train. That Obscure Object of Desire.

Alluring metal teeth. Belle de Jour.

A rifle blast blows away the under-cover student-revolutionary's yapping toy dog. The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie.

The Criminal Life of Archibaldo de la Cruz finds its inception in the young protagonist's glimpse of his beautiful nanny's garters as a musicbox plays in the background. Too bad a stray bullet from a political insurrection just blew her brains out.

The Criminal Life of Archibaldo de la Cruz goes to another level when the hero/villain pummels, strangles and ultimately incinerates a helpless mannequin.

Fernando Rey tears open the shirt of a drugged and unconscious Viridiana.

The rampaging vagrants take over the mansion, eating, drinking and dancing: they stop only to pose for a travesty of The Last Supper. Viridiana.

Time for bed: Viridiana slips into a burlap sack and adorns a crown of thorns.

Fernando Rey's attempts to convince his hot, young radical hostage that they have things in common (like, say, a belief in free love) fails. The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie.

Simon of the Desert, a man standing atop on a pillar contemplating God in front of a clear sky.

Silvia Pinal as the sexiest devil in history. Will Simon of the Desert resist the temptation to play with a schoolgirl?

Granted new hands by the miraculous healing power of Simon of the Desert, the first thing the peasant does is slap his son upside the head.

I know he's suffering from major physical disabilities and everything, by the way that goatherd handles his goat's teat is making me uncomfortable. Simon of the Desert.

The inexplicably terrifying slow-motion chicken nightmare. Los Olvidados.

Pedro Armendáriz's brooding, blunt, tragic performance as The Brute.

Catherine Denueve's tumor-riddled leg. Tristana. And Fernando Rey's relationship to that severed leg.

The camera tastefully tracks away from the love scene... and then gives us another glimpse of the lovers through a window. Just as Denueve undresses, Rey closes the window. Tristana.

That kid sure is spending a lot of time in bathroom. Do you really think Tristana doesn't know why?

Toilets around the dinner table and eating in a private little stall. The Phantom of Liberty.

The toilet empties into a cliffside directly below. The Exterminating Angel.

A child takes several tentative steps towards the mansion and then quickly retreats. The Exterminating Angel.

Prank chickens. The Exterminating Angel.

The servants abruptly abandon the house and, wait one second, didn't we just see this scene? The Exterminating Angel.

A razor slicing slowly across the beautiful woman's eyeball and a cloud cutting serenely over the moon.

"In the Springtime," there are living sculptures buried up to their shoulders in sand.

A stigmata of ants.

The ant stigmata transformed into an armpit tranformed into a bush in the desert transformed into the top of the head of a stylish woman.

With a cane, that stylish woman pokes at a severed hand laying on a busy street.

The fondled ass suddenly becomes naked and then tranforms into a pair of breasts.

Dragging two grand pianos loaded with dead donkeys, two only slightly perturbed priests and giant stone tablets across the living room floor.

A tennis racket for self-defense.

Just a fellow out for a bike ride in a nun's habit.

The pervert's excitement at the beautiful pedestrian's impending death crossing through high-speed traffic.

The pope is executed by a firing squad. The Milky Way...

...but the execution is just a daydream. The sound of gunshots from the daydream bleeds over into reality. The Milky Way.

It appears that Christ, a look of satisfaction on his face, has emerged from the orgy. L'Age d'Or.

Lya Lys "kisses" the statue's toes. L'Age d'Or.

Gaston Mordot sees his beloved Lys suddenly appear in advertisements. L'Age d'Or.

The drunk explains economics as Illusion Travels by Streetcar.

Alex Phillips' breath-takingly dreamy & gorgeous color cinematography. The Adventures of Robinson Crusoe.

Catherine Denueve tied up and slopped with mud. Belle de Jour.

What's the reason you're staring at that wheelchair? Belle de Jour.

What's in the Chinese man's box? Belle de Jour.

A hand reaches up from under the table to grab a piece of meat. Fernando Rey gives himself away to the soldiers. The Discreet Charm of Bourgeoisie.

Your wife is only visiting my apartment to see The Sursiks. The Discreet Charm of Bourgeoisie.

Berating the gardner is not a great idea if he turns out to be a priest. The Discreet Charm of The Bourgeoisie.

We can't eat here, there's a funereal going on! The Discreet Charm of Bourgeoisie.

A letter delivered at 3:00a.m. directly into the wealthy couple's bedroom by a mailman on a bicycle. And Jean-CLaude Brialy has the letter right here to prove it. The Phantom of Liberty.

The missing daughter. The Phantom of Liberty.

The dirty photos given to the little girl by a creep in the park. The Phantom of Liberty.

"We are on Arctal Ructive duty." The Phantom of Liberty.

Just a friendly get-together in the sadomasochistic couple's hotel room. The Phantom of Liberty.

Digging up a heretic's corpse to administer proper punishment. The Milky Way.

Delphine Seyrig as a hapless prostitute floating through The Milky Way.

A scorpion stings itself to death in a ring of fire. L'Age d'Or.

Stephane Audran's stockings after she has snuck outside into the bushes to have a tryst. The Discreet Charm of Bourgeoisie.

Lilia Prado would disrupt any bus ride. Mexican Bus Ride.

A fantasy encounter in the back of a plant-and-vegetation-overgrown bus. Mexican Bus Ride.

Blanks. El (This Strange Passion).

A sewing needle through a keyhole to poke out the (imaginary) peeping tom's eye. El (This Strange Passion).

A priest lovingly caressing, washing and kissing the feet of his altar boys. El (This Strange Passion).

A young woman washes her legs with milk. Los Olvidados.

In a hallucination, the ghost of Crusoe's father gives a pig a bath. The Adventures of Robinson Crusoe.

A free ticket? "Smells like communism" to the indignant bourgeoisie woman. Illusion Travels by Streetcar.

Illusion Travels by Streecar when two frustrated soon-to-be-former commuters steal one the night before it's set to be dismantled.

Repesctively fresh from the abattoir and an upscale night of carousing, it's slaughterhouse workers vs. fancypants. Illusion Travels by Streetcar.

Before an audience of proud parents, a group of school-children endlessly recites anathemas. The Milky Way.

"My hatred of science and my loathing of technology will one day lead me to this absurd belief in God." The Milky Way.

A woman's death by the plague. Nazarín.

Jesus laughs. Too bad it's only a dream. Nazarín.

"I offended you only in thought." Fernando Rey's anti-confession to Viridiana.

In the schoolhouse, there is a painting of a fairy princess. Las Hurdes.

Hesitant heels stopping on a staircase. Belle de Jour.

A soldier approaches the women in the cafe and tells them his dream. The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie.

Slugs on a dead girl's shin. Diary of a Chambermaid.

A beautiful butterfly delicately perched on a bush is destroyed by a shotgun blast. Diary of a Chambermaid.

Ernesto Alonso as Eduardo the lepidopterist. Wutherting Heights.

Key Meersen as The Young One, the morally liberated and immodest 13 year-old caught between a black jazz musician and her racist father figure on a remote island. Without her shocking, innocent presence as an actress, the film would be ridiculous.

Jaime Fernández as the tranvestite cannibal Friday. The Adventures of Robinson Crusoe.

Notorious for a reason: Carole Bouquet and Angelina Molina as "Conchita." That Obscure Object of Desire.

A successful seduction of The Brute is contorted into an unsuccessful rape.

Unsuccessful taunts to shoot a man in the back. The River and Death.

Unsuccessful taunts to enlist one of Los Olvidados in the robbery of a blind man.

Heels ceaselessly clicking and clacking on a very quaint and lovely road to nowhere. The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie.

A society without repressed desires is little more than a Fascist mob: Diary of a Chambermaid's predictably unpredictable Buñuelian ending.

The Criminal Life of Archibaldo de la Cruz comes to an abrupt end when de la Cruz tosses the cursed musicbox in the lake.

A jet-plane to a rock concert: Simon of the Desert finds himself in a hell he never could have imagined.

An unwise trip to bell tower for the young bride and her insanely paranoid, jealous husband. El (This Strange Passion.)

The Brute's lifeless body. A rooster. The villain wins?

Close the door. We're going to need some privacy for this threesome. The innocent card game that brings Viridiana to a close.

And now there's no way to leave the church. The Exterminating Angel.

"Yesterday, a child was born here. Today, another goes to heaven." A lot can happen on a Mexican Bus Ride.

Don't worry, it was just another car-bomb going off. That Obscure Object of Desire.

~ AUGUST 6, 2010 ~