Five from the Fire #4, page 2

FIVE FROM THE FIRE #4

page 2

eric pfriender, john cribbs & christopher funderburg

christopher:

Really: it's Jack Palance you want to identify with in that scene? You and I are very different people, my friend. Anyway, nice to read something by you - this is the first proof I have ever had that you are actually a writer (not just a teacher, a lover and an editor). I'd want to read something else you've written about movies, but based on this, it appears you don't actually like them.

Anyway, you are an asshole for burning Sorcerer. I yield to no one in my love of The Wages of Fear, but now you're making me live in a world where Sorcerer and Cruising are gone. I guessit's fine that you saved The Exorcist because cinema would have a big hole in it without completely singular story of a doubting Christian who under duress reaffirms his faith in God. And we've got the new version, too! Great work!

If you had remembered the name of The Hunted and saved that, I would've immediately driven over to your house and punched you in the face right now.

You took two totally reasonable Miikes. I probably would've saved Izo and The Great Yokai War, but I might've just skipped him altogether - he's like Fassbinder in that he's so prolific that there's just no satisfying answer to this question, saving a couple films is a sorry consolation. Plus, I definitely wouldn't have taken Audition which is some ways both one of his best and least interesting movies - it's great, but what makes Miike unique is when he's totally out of his mind (which I guess is just another way of saying I would've taken Izo and The Great Yokai War). Losing Ichi also means that Tsukamoto wasted that bucket of ejaculate. Although, now that I think of it, he probably has plenty of others.

Glad to see your ignorance can manifest itself as juvenile contempt with Kiarostami - sure, I'm no fan of his work, but I've at least seen the movies. I also have a sneaking feeling you've never seen Hoop Dreams, which I would've been torn over letting burn, if only because it's the best of its kind. I'm no fan of that genre of documentary filmmaking, so allow me to be a total fucking hypocrite: it's cinema history, dude, and YOU BLEW IT! It's like a bizarre flipside to your impulse save The Hunted, a truly terrible movies that you haven't even seen. 2 Friedkins and 2 Miikes... I don't think I ever would've predicted that, even if I admit I knew you aren't a particular fan of any of the directors on the list.

Any thoughts, John? Were we not just discussiny Uncommon Valor? And Who is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe? (the film, I mean. we weren't addressing the question of responsiblity in a series of homcides of culinary hot-shots)

john:

Needless to say I shan't be naming my baby girl "Erika." Or even "Pfriendora." Nobody who throws the last surviving print of Sorcerer into fire out of spite earns that! Seriously, I'm actually suspicious and thinking of calling the Arson Department. Perhaps a recently-spent cigarette butt will be found amidst the wreckage...

(What if some idiot had put the last surviving print of The Wages of Fear in there by mistake? Don't you even want to open the can and check?? Or The Wizard? Maybe The Wizard doesn't exist anymore, thanks to you! How will future generations know that Super Mario Brothers 3 is coming out soon?)

Seriously, has anything good ever come from the phrase "I thought of Jack Palance and..." Pick up the gun, Pfriender. Pick - up - the - gun!

I pictured kind of a pet store-from-Pee Wee's Big Adventure sized building, but the idea of an end-of-Raiders of the Lost Ark type warehouse? I'd probably just call the fire department and hope they saved the best. So I commend you for your commitment to saving a lot of movies you're iffy about at best.

Kotcheff very conceivably could have been the guy who directed Operation Dumbo Drop or Dunston Checks In. He did direct Switching Channels and Folks! so who knows?

He also directed the first Family of Cops, the last series Charles Bronson starred in (which also featured John Vernon - I guess Don Siegel would've directed that one had he not passed away a few years earlier.) And he directed the Dolph vehicle The Shooter, aka Hidden Assassin. I'll have to check that one out - whoops, it's gone forever. I forgot....

No problems with you passing up the movies of Kiarostami and Steve James (unless of course we're talking about Michael Dudikoff's sidekick, in which case my picks would be American Ninja 1 & 2, Avenging Force, Brother from Another Planet and I'm Gonna Git You Sucka - ooh now that I think of it, he was in To Live and Die in LA: good work saving that William Friedkin-actual Steve James teamup, Pfriender!

And hold the phone! I just looked him up, and he was in Weekend at Bernie's 2! Though, sadly Ted Ketchoff did not return for the sequel. It's directed by Robert Klane, writer of...Folks! Weird...)

Pfriender despite your its grisly finale I vastly enjoyed this. How about you do a piece on this similar moral dilemma: The notorious bank robber you've been hunting all summer is climbing a fence...you've got him in your sights, locked and loaded, ready to take him down...but you see his eyes and you know it's the guru who's taught you all about the spirituality of surfing -- what do you do????

eric:

It's a little unclear why you're getting angry, and frankly, a little condescending, when it sounds like you actually agree with a good portion of what I did (except for burning Sorcerer, a decision I stand by and the fact that it makes both of you angry is mystifying to me.)

I would describe my thought process with regards to Kiarostami less as "juvenile contempt" and more like "opportunity to make a bad joke." And Steve James, well, I don't know, I guess I could've saved Hoop Dreams. It felt a little obvious, like Steve James' entire inclusion in the hypothetical scenario was for the sole purpose of saving Hoop Dreams, which isn't really a decision at all, then. The movie is good, but earnest, straight-faced docs aren't really my thing these days.

For the record, I have in fact seen The Hunted. My memory of that film is that it couldn't possibly be as bad as it seemed, so it must have been some kind of weird formal experiment to make a Fugitive-style genre movie, but to strip out literally all plot except the barest of exposition and fill the space with some absolutely brutal knife fights. I've only seen it once, but if you gave me the option of watching The Hunted or watching Sorcerer, I'd probably pick The Hunted. I'm much more curous about re-examining my initial thoughts on a failed blockbuster than I am in re-examing whether or not Sorcerer is terrible, which it obviously is.

christopher:

And we'll end on that erroneous note, as Sorcerer is actually pretty darn good. For the record, I'm not angry - just a little depressed: your tone seems to be more about relishing which ones you can burn than worrying over which ones you can save... Folks, keep your eyes peeled for another installment of Five from the Fire, coming soon - as well as new entries in the Frustrating Filmographies and Video Oddities series!

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