VIDEO ODDITIES, or VHS: Video House Safari
halloween special
john cribbs
THE DEAD PIT
For those just tuning in: what I'm doing in this series is heading down to the local video store and finding interesting movies I've never heard of. For younger readers a "video store" an establishment that you can walk or drive to and rent Video Home System cassettes, also known as VHS tapes, and/or dvds from an actual person and take it back home for your own entertainment purposes (you gotta bring it back, though.) I'm basing my selection on the outrageous video boxes, the kind that helped us decide whether a movie looked like it was worth our time back in the days before the internet started telling us everything there was to know about every film before they're even released. Then I'm writing about them.
It's not nostalgic - it's just awesome.
#4: THE DEAD PIT (1989)
"I've done life - now I'm doing death!"
Halloween's coming up this week, a good time to get some horror-related articles up on the site. Figured I'd better get cracking on these before demands for articles on pilgrim-related movies started cramming the inbox, so I headed over to the video store and scanned the spook section for the perfect subject for this year's First Annual Very Special Halloween Video Oddity.
You can always tell a good old fashioned video store by the quality of their horror movie aisle. Sure, they might have an adequately stocked row of "noir" titles, an impressive cache of foreign films and a hidden room dedicated to Cult Classics, but you know it's a truly special place when you see they've got an entire wing cluttered with tattered, oversized video boxes with names like Three on a Meathook and Please Don't Eat the Babies proudly displayed on the gaudily-decorated covers.
I was looking for a horror movie I'd not only never seen, but had never heard of. Although I've seen more than my share of lesser-known horror flicks, there are always hundreds of forgotten titles from the 80's to compete for my attention. It was going to take a little something extra to win my heart. After piling up a couple contenders and replacing several rejects, I pulled out a video, flush on the shelf with "The Dead Pit" written on the side of the box. "They’re out," the cover announced above a green, three-dimensional zombie ascending with his undead brethren from a glowing pit. I ran a finger across the front and, at the triggering of a small button at on the bottom right side of the box, the zombie's eyes lit up with matching green lights!
Awesome. That was pretty much an instant sell for me, but just to make sure this wasn't some re-titled horror cheapie I'd already seen, I turned the box around. The first thing I saw on the back was the name of The Dead Pit's director, Mr. Brett Leonard. Wait a minute... the Brett Leonard?!
For those who don't know, Brett Leonard is the fearless auteur behind such films as The Lawnmower Man (famously taken to court for using Stephen King's name and title but not his story), Hideaway (famously bad-mouthed by Dean R. Koontz for straying too far from his story) and Virtuosity (which wasn't based on a book, so nobody got upset). For Christmas two years ago I gave Chris Funderburg his 2005 movie Feed ["Leonard! Leonard! Leonard!" I was heard to chant upon opening the package at my parent's Calgary home. Readers, if you need verification of this anecdote, just let me know and I will send you my mom's e-mail address - chris], about an enthusiastic serial feeder who forces food down women's throats and posts pictures of their consequently obese frames online. Because of Lawnmower Man and Virtuosity Leonard has a reputation as one of the first, pre-Matrix "cyberpunk" directors. He's also credited with pioneering the IMAX craze with a T-Rex docuventure called Back to the Cretaceous and a Siegfried & Roy 3-D performance for which he's listed as co-writer. But it all began in 1989 with his feature debut, which he directed, co-wrote and edited: The Dead Pit.
So at this point I'm a little conflicted. When I laid out the rules for this project several weeks ago I clearly stated that the criteria for selection would be based solely on surface elements: the box art, the title on the cover and the obscurity of the movie (at least as far as my own knowledge). Selecting a movie by a director whose work I'm a) quite familiar with and b) an admitted fan of seems like it would be cheating. If I wanted to watch the lesser-known films of directors I like I'd start a series based on that and track down copies of Luis Buñuel's The River and Death and Budd Boetticher's A Time for Dying (note to self: start that series). So, would it technically be cheating to count this one as a true "video oddity?"
Here's what I decided: Brett Leonard's name is on the box, right? Same as the zombie with the eyes that light up. Same as the enticing two word tagline. Same as the intriguingly crude title, The Dead Pit. I didn't come to the store looking specifically for the movie because I knew Brett Leonard directed it: I found it right on the shelf between The Dead Next Door and The Dead Pool (misshelved). It wasn't even a recommendation! So as far as I'm concerned it qualifies under the superfluous guidelines I set up for this project and is therefore fair game.
We open on the State Institution for the Mentally Ill, where a seemingly caring doctor is making his nightly rounds. Nothing alarming about that. Horror films set largely in psychiatric hospitals were plentiful in the 80's: From Beyond, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3, Hellbound: Hellraiser II. Most of the institutes in these films are run by tyrannical, condescending, often sadistically cold authority types but maybe this guy is different. Maybe he actually cares. It seems like a possibility... at least until the doctor opens a door to a padded room, approaches its quivering occupant in the corner and shoves an icepick behind the poor bastard's occipital bone, severing the nerves of the frontal lobe and turning the patient into a vegetable. Without a consent form!
Words fade up on the screen glorious green letters: "A Brett Leonard Film...THE DEAD PIT!"
This improvisational surgeon is Dr. Colin Ramzi, and if his bedside manner seems abrupt you should see his ethics in the operating room. In this case that would be the hospital's dilapidated basement, where Ramzi holds late night brain acupuncture appointments with (unwilling) residents of the institution. For some reason he's convinced that he can create life from death, and is testing that hypothesis by first creating death from life then trying to reverse the whole process. His independent study is discovered by colleague Dr. Gerald Swan (Jeremy Slate), who is so put off by the sight of the patients' writhing bodies stacked one on top of the other in a crude pit emitting eerie green smoke that he shoots Ramzi in the head and seals the basement door, thus ridding the world of his evil forever.
The end. Or wait, that's just the prologue! And isn't it weird that Swan sealed the basement instead of calling the cops? It's not like he was implicated in this business, he just stumbled onto it. Doesn't really make much sense, but twenty years later Swan's still walking the halls of the institute with a spring in his step, not troubling his mind at all over the rotting corpses festering in the cellar, content that nobody is performing impromptu needlework on the brains of the current patients (most likely). If at this point in the film you're thinking, 'This guy's going to end up strapped down on a crude operating table with long pins sticking out of his exposed brain," then you're almost exactly right. (Ok, you're exactly right).
Something about the movie up to this point seemed familiar... crazy surgeon, abusing his resident privileges to lobotomize patients and eventually turn them into mixed-up zombies? Where have I come across this plot recently? Oh yeah – in the subject of my very first Video Oddities entry, the brilliantly-advertised if artistically-lacking Dr. Butcher MD. Leonard's film cuts out the middle man by going straight to the surgeon manufacturing zombies within the hospital rather than complicating things by having unexplained hospital mutilations lead to a Caribbean island where said surgeon is operating. And The Dead Pit makes use of all the elements I'd hoped to find in the previous movie but was sadly denied: a clearly-identified homicidal physician, despicable acts of intentional malpractice and – as I'll discuss in a moment – plenty of hilarious medical puns. No house calls, though. Still no house calls.
But anyway twenty years later, a young lady with no memory of her past ("I call myself Jane. Jane Doe.") is dropped off at the institute. As played by the lovely Cheryl Lawson, Jane looks like a busty cross between A Nightmare on Elm Street's Heather Lagenkamp and Hellraiser's Ashley Lawrence. Jane gets violently upset whenever someone suggests she's suffering from amnesia. That's because she's sure of one thing: somebody opened her skull and surgically removed her memories. (Again, no police involvement: no investigation into her background or attempts to locate her family are made – what kind of town is this?) She doesn't remember how or who (or when or where or why) but she has a bad feeling the person responsible for extracting her past is not quite through with her. Sure enough, one particular fit triggered by some horrible, hidden memory seems to cause a massive earthquake which rocks the hospital and cracks the seal on the basement door, from which medical deviate Dr. Ramzi and his decomposed subjects emerge, cranky from their nap and ready to rampage.
Wearing a surgical mask with a bullet hole between two glowing red eyes, Ramzi, the prominent monster of the piece, remains generally stoic but occasionally displays a glimmer of personality, mostly through brilliantly horrible puns. He takes a page from Freddy's book and assaults his victims with some awesomely bad one-liners. Just two wince-worthy examples: when Jane looks out the window and sees him holding the decapitated head of her friend the orderly in a warped, undead surgeon version of John Cusack holding up the boom box in the rain, he lovingly shouts "I'm the head surgeon here!" Later, after his unnecessary open vascular on poor Dr. Swan, he makes a mushy gift to Jane of some of the scooped-out grey matter, claiming "The doctor wanted me to give you a piece of his mind." He doesn't start the heavy punning until after his return from the grave, so it could be the satanic evil that inspired this terrible party-comedian routine he's developed. God knows how many bad jokes this zombie buddies had to endure during their 20 year confinement in the basement
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